Have you ever found yourself in the space in between hopeful expectation and a reality that seeks to pry your fingers loose from the tentative hold they have on to hope? Maybe that promotion at work you anticipated getting was awarded to another and now you are left to sit in bitter disillusionment. Or a relationship that you’ve invested so much in is falling apart. The addiction that no matter how hard you fight to rise above, just keeps pulling you under. That miracle you’ve been praying for years for feels like it is falling on deaf ears and as you wait, your hopeful expectancy is dwindling in the exasperating silence.

I’m sure we have all been there at one time or another in our lives—I know I have.

As Easter Sunday approaches I find myself reflecting on this space in between. And I wonder if Jesus’ disciples found themselves there too that grim night when Jesus was arrested then crucified the next day. All their hopeful expectations that they’d had in Jesus died with him when he breathed his last on that cross. They found themselves in the space in between where devastating grief caused them to forget things promised—resurrection. Resurrection seemed not only improbable—after all, they’d seen him die—but impossible.

The Disciples

Let’s go back in time just a bit.

For a little over three years, they spent every day with Jesus. They ate with him, traveled with him, heard each parable and lesson. They witnessed all his miracles—the healing of lepers, blind men receiving their sight, the lame walking, and a dead man being raised to life¹. They were there when he turned the water to wine², watched him walk on water³ and calm the storm⁴. They served the 5000⁵ and the 4000⁶, plus women and children, out of the abundance Jesus miraculously created from just five loaves of bread and two fish and then seven loaves, and a few small fish with leftovers each time. They knew him more intimately than anyone else, yet, they still didn’t fully understand who Jesus was.

When they were walking high on the mountaintop in the glory of his miracles, they thought they knew who Jesus was, but when they were plummeted into the valley where the shadows stretch long, they lost sight of truth— the same way we can—and found themselves in the space in between hopeful expectation and grim reality. Fear superseded faith so when Jesus was arrested, they ran.

So this begs the question, also we must ask ourselves the same; Was their faith—and is ours—in who Jesus is, or is it in what he can do?

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Who Is Jesus?

After Jesus’ horrific death by crucifixion, the disciples sat together, filled with terror, behind locked doors for two long, restless and sleepless nights. Maybe you, like me, can relate to the disciples here in this moment when in their devastation and grief, everything Jesus had told them about who he was—how he had to suffer and die for the forgiveness of sins⁷ and that he would be raised to life after three days defeating death once and for all for all who follow him⁸—they forgot.

Until hope dawned on the third day.

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“Early on Sunday morning, as the new day was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went out to visit the tomb. Suddenly there was a great earthquake! For an angel of the Lord came down from heaven, rolled aside the stone, and sat on it. His face shone like lightning, and his clothing was as white as snow. The guards shook with fear when they saw him, and they fell into a dead faint. Then the angel spoke to the women. ‘Don’t be afraid!’ he said. ‘I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying. And now, go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and he is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there. Remember what I have told you.’” (Matthew 28:1-7 NLT)

The Good News

Jesus is alive and his resurrection ensures that we have hope and we don’t have to stay in the space in between.

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Will we still face setbacks? Yes. Will we still deal with grief? Yes. Trials? Guaranteed. But, we can know beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is greater than any disappointment, setback, addiction, or disease! Because of Jesus, the space in between doesn’t have to be filled with hopelessness. Instead, allow it to draw you nearer to the One who seeks to give you resurrection hope. And there, we can meet any challenge that comes our way with our faith firmly rooted in who Jesus is.

Jesus is:

• Sent by God as a sacrifice for us. (John 17:1-3)
• The Messiah (Matthew 1:16)  
• Our salvation. (Acts 4:11-13)
• The way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6)
• The light of the world. (John 8:12)
• The good shepherd. (John 10:11-18)
• The true vine. (John 15:1-17)
• The bread of life. (John 6:35)
• The resurrection and the life.  (John 11:25)

And so much more…I encourage you to read through the book of John throughout this week as Easter Sunday approaches.

Scripture References

1.  John 11:1-44
2. John 2:1-11
3. Mark 6:45-52 
4. Matthew 8:23-27
5. John 6:1-14 
6. Matthew 15:32-39
7. Matthew 26:27-29
8. John 14:19-21

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

SAD affects over 10 million adults in the USA according to *Boston University in 2019, and you’re here maybe wondering if you suffer from it. Are you more tired than usual? Feeling blue? Hopeless? Discouraged? Lost interest in the things you once loved? (If you are unsure if it is seasonal or something more, please consult a psychologist.) Can you relate to any of these symptoms? Yes? Now, what can you do to battle the melancholy that keeps your brain in a fog? (I am not a professional— these are just ways I have found to be helpful and I hope to encourage you with them! For more resources, see the end of the page!)

KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

Something I have found helpful for me is to know my triggers! The lack of sunshine because the days are oh-so-short and the nights oh-so-long is a huge contributor to SAD for me. I’m that person who turns their face to the sunshine and warmth to soak it all in! The inability (because I hate being out in the cold) to go outside and do all the things I love to do, plays a role in bringing me to a place of “bleh” as well. The dead landscape is yet another depressing sight. However, I have no control over the sunshine or lack-there-of. I cannot stop the bitter wind from blowing. The trees will bud when they are ready and not because of anything I do. Sound hopeless? It’s not!

LAUNCH A COUNTER ATTACK

Now, you may be asking, “What can I do about it then?” First, I would suggest to you with kindness to seek counsel if your symptoms persist and you have thoughts of self-harm. You are far too valuable to not take that step and seek the help you may need! Second, it is a good idea to see your primary care physician as well to get your overall health checked. You may have a Vitamin D deficiency – I have in the past and believe me it makes a huge difference in energy once your levels get back to normal! 

Other ways to attack SAD

Get grounded. I find being consistent with reading the Word of God helps keep me well balanced. Scripture like Jeremiah 29:11 that tells me “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” gives me hope that this is just a season and God will see me through it!  

Visually cue your brain. I love looking at pictures and videos of bright sunshiny beaches! They are like a breath of fresh air. The vibrant blues and greens shift my mind from cold dread to warm hope. What are your favorite images that just lift your spirits when you see them? Get them out and put them somewhere you will see them often!

Create hope. If you are feeling hopeless, then give yourself something to look forward to! Like planning a spring garden. Just seeing the bright pinks, reds and yellows remind me that spring will come! So take the initiative and begin to plan whatever that “something” is for you.  

Get the blood flowing! Working out has so many benefits! One being that it stimulates our endorphins, you know, that chemical that sparks happiness? So no matter how I feel, I stick to my workout regimen because I know it helps. What steps can you take today to get your heart rate up and those endorphins flowing? 

Connect. Gathering with family and friends helps break up the mundane of the long winter too. Who can you go to lunch with or talk on the phone with that will cheer you up? Or maybe be the one to lift up someone else you know is struggling right now. What a benefit to both parties!

it’s important

Whatever you’re dealing with at this particular time, know that if it is important to you, it’s important. Your overall wellbeing starts with recognizing that. Don’t ignore or brush off the symptoms. It’s okay to admit you are having a hard time.  It’s okay to talk to someone about this. It’s okay to take the time you need to take care of yourself! Remember that you are worth it! In the midst of the fog seek those moments to treasure, they help in tremendous ways. Admittedly it takes a little more effort to manage that right now, but they’re there. Intentionally seek those moments friends, hold them close to your heart, they will help you through your season of “bleh”!

TO SEEK HELP

AS ALWAYS, PLEASE SEEK IMMEDITE HELP IF YOU ARE HAVING THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM AND/OR SUICIDE BY DIALING 9-1-1 OR THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTOIN LIFELINE 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

*ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/depression#Types%20of%20Depression

* EISENBURG FAMILY DEPRESSION CENTER UNIVERSITY OF MICHAGAN https://www.depressioncenter.org/toolkit/im-looking-more-resources-1/helpful-mental-health-resources-0

resources

*MAYO CLINIC https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

*BOSTON UNIVERSITY https://www.bu.edu/articles/2019/seasonal-affective-disorder/

calling myself “out!”

Now, before we go any further, I have to tell you, I am generally a positive person. I am an encourager and if you read any of my previous blog posts, you will see that. So, I am not here to call myself or you a failure for falling short because falling short does not make us failures. This isn’t what this is. Rather, this is a moment to be real—honest. To call myself out when I mess up. And we all mess up! There is not one of us that has not made a mistake, done something, or said something we wished we hadn’t. This happened to me recently. I have set principles for myself and one of those is to make every effort to avoid gossip. Never easy. I’m not always successful at it either. Sometimes I can avoid it, sometimes I don’t.  So, I’m calling myself out. Holding myself accountable for doing a thing I don’t want to do. Maybe you know what I’m talking about? You do what you know is wrong even though you want to do what you know is right? Well, great news! We are not alone, and this isn’t new or unusual!

why do i do what i hate?

Ever ask yourself, “Why do I do what I hate?” I know I have and so did a guy named Paul. The Apostle Paul was a prolific writer of the New Testament and in the Book of Romans, he talks about this very struggle; “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15 NIV). Here we see Paul calling himself out. Holding himself accountable for not doing what he knows he should do and doing the thing he doesn’t want to do. Calling ourselves out when we do something we don’t want to do is to our benefit so potentially the next time when we’re confronted with the same situation, we don’t do the thing we hate. Holding ourselves accountable for our actions is the only way to effect change and to stop doing what we hate to do. While we will never be perfect and we won’t always get it right, it is advantageous for us to stop pretending we never miss the plate so that we may continue to grow and move forward.

next at bat

Maybe you don’t struggle with this, but for those of us who do, I would like to suggest to you that while perhaps this inning you fell short of tagging the bag, it’s okay. Get up, wipe off the dust and wait for the next at bat. And if we’ve allowed our “Out!” to cultivate change within us, then at our next at bat we may just be called “Safe!” at the plate. See, we all fall short at times, we are human, so don’t berate yourself for it but it’s important to acknowledge it, call yourself out and learn from it. And who knows, there in the lesson, you may find a moment to treasure. 

Dealing with Depression Part One

All roads lead somewhere—right? With the exception of those marked with a ‘dead-end’ sign. Even a wrong turn, takes us somewhere—maybe not where we want to go, but it leads somewhere! But have you ever felt like you were going down a road that led to nowhere? Not literally but figuratively of course. Emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually? I know I have. We visit the nearby mountains frequently and walk the trails there and there are easy ones and difficult ones, some that are short and some that are long, but no matter how challenging or far the hike, they do come to an end point or circle back to the beginning eventually. But, unlike those trails, there is a path I can walk down at times that feels never-ending and it leads to nowhere. Many people walk down this same trail as me, yet we walk it alone and in utter silence. It’s a gloomy road with many twists and turns. Mine is lined with tall, dead trees on both sides and is shrouded in darkness. Pitch black darkness. I’m sure you can visualize yours well too. 

the dark road

What, you may ask, road am I on? Not one I choose. Not one I like. It’s not a wrong turn— as a matter of fact, I have little to no say in when I veer off the main route and onto this treacherous pathway. This road has a name—Depression. GASP! Yes, I am writing about depression! Not because I want to—truthfully I don’t. I’d much rather pretend I didn’t deal with this common mental health issue, but I do. I am writing this for those who suffer in silence to let you know that you don’t walk down the road that leads to nowhere alone, nor do you have to. It may feel like you do—I know—but you don’t. DISCLAIMER: I’m no expert in the field but I’m just someone who wants to help lift the stigma off those of us who deal with depression. And according to World Health Organization, more than 300 million of us are affected worldwide. Before I go any further—if you are reading this and you are dealing with severe depression and are having thoughts of suicide, please seek help immediately! There is help out there and you don’t have to face this alone. (Please call 1-800-273-TALK for help or 911 or click here for more info.)

am i lost?

Depression comes in many different shapes and sizes and each person has their unique symptoms and circumstances but none are to be taken lightly. You may experience anxiety as well. It may have been brought on by circumstances in your life, a trauma or change you were unprepared to deal with. The loss of purpose and /or hope. Maybe it is seasonal. At times, the road I walk down can suddenly open up to beautiful sunshine and blooming flowers and I have energy again and feel ready to tackle whatever comes my way. I strive to stay on this road. I fight to prevent myself from being steered back onto the dark path. When I end up lost on a path not of my choosing I find myself asking, “How did I get here?” Anyone else out there relate?

When I am blindsided by and find myself tripping down the road that leads to nowhere, one thing that helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other is my hope. For I have this hope that is the anchor to my soul (Hebrews 6:19). And when I walk down that dark road, it helps me tremendously to know that I truly am not alone for the One I have my hope in walks it with me. He never leaves me nor forsakes me (Matthew 28:20). Oh, there are times it feels like it, but feelings can lie and mislead—God however, does not. If you are journeying down this gloomy path, look up, for God loves you and will walk this path with you if you invite him to.

can we encourage ourselves?

King David, a well-known man in the Bible, he was a mighty warrior who’d seen numerous victories in battle, a shepherd, a harpist, God called him “a man after God’s own heart”(1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22) —someone we’d look at and think he had it all together—but, he dealt with depression. King David writes, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5. Here we find David encouraging himself, reminding himself that even when he is downcast to put his hope in God and praise him! I’m not suggesting that breaking out of depression is that simple, but it’s a good place to start and you never know how it may help. Boost yourself up with positive words and get with someone who will listen and help encourage you through this difficult time.

And maybe, just maybe when we take our experience and help someone else who may be on that same path we are or have been on, we may realize that we’re not alone on that road that feels like it leads nowhere. It may just be then and there that we find a moment to treasure.

More encouraging scripture:

I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1:5b)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9)

“But now, Lord, What do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)

*There a many types of depression but none are to be taken lightly. Each person experiences depression differently, this is just my experience. Thanks for letting me share it with you!

Caught Unaware and Unprepared

Have you ever felt like that? You thought you were prepared, but then WHAM! Something unforeseen happens and it can leave you feeling like you are fighting a losing battle. Is this that season for you? Maybe because of COVID-19? A diagnosis from a doctor? The loss of a loved one? The loss of a job? Unlike a hurricane that is detected by high tech equipment enabling us to plan accordingly, in life, there is no such radar that allows us to predict when and where the storms will hit. And they can leave us feeling unprepared to face a battle we never saw coming. But what if you’ve been unknowingly preparing all your life?  

Unknowingly Preparing

In the Old Testament of the Bible, we read about this well-known guy named David who, for most of his life, had inadvertently been preparing to fight a giant. Even if you’re not familiar with scripture, it’s likely you are acquainted with the legendary story of David and Goliath. It is the account of a shepherd boy, who was not a warrior, yet he defeated the warrior giant. “Saul replied, ‘You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.’ But David said to Saul, ‘Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.’” 1 Samuel 17:33-37 NIV. David didn’t know it, but while he was out in the fields, just doing his job, guarding his sheep, God was preparing him for battle. David was training to defeat a giant and thereby ultimately saved the nation of Israel in the process! Because of his past experiences, what David saw before him was not a warrior he was unprepared to face, he saw an opportunity to use all he had learned as preparation to rise to the challenge.

Your Training

We all face challenges. Every single one of us. A storm we thought we’d prepared for will surprise us with its intensity. An unexpected battle will arise. So let’s be encouraged by David. As he went out to confront a giant he never encountered before, equipped with the skills he had learned in the fields guarding his sheep, David also recognized another crucial element to his victory. He knew he did not face Goliath alone. David declared and believed that God was with him (1 Samuel 17:37). I don’t know about you, but no matter what battle I face and whether I believe I’m prepared, or feel like I’m not, I am encouraged to know that God is with me through it all! That stirs up hope! That encourages strength! So, let me ask you; are you prepared? Are you in the field with the sheep, unknowingly training for an unexpected battle? Or are in you in the midst of that battle right now? Whether we realize it or not, somewhere along the way, we’d undergone training that had prepared us to face this battle, whatever that may be. But, as in all battles, we are not left without scars, scrapes, or bruises, and if we allow them to, they can become part of our training so that we are prepared for the next battle. And there will be more. And yet, I believe that even in, maybe especially in the battle we can find moments to treasure.

equipping You to Be Prepared

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV

Instinct

When I had my first children (twin girls), my natural instinct was to attempt to shelter them from anything that I considered to have had the potential to harm them in any way. Protect them from any sort of pain. That notion was dispelled before they even turned one year old as they had a tendency to bite one another and pull each other’s hair! No, I didn’t allow it. Yes, I stopped them—when I saw them. But I could not always shield them from that pain. Just as you may have realized that no matter how hard you might have tried to protect yourself or a loved one, pain is real. Storms still come. And sometimes hardships are a fact of life. As I’m sure you are very well aware of. So, if our instinct is to protect ourselves and seek shelter, how can we find that shelter? 

Sheltered Is Not The Equivalent Of Escape

I think for a long time I was confused. I believed that if I could shelter my kids, or myself from any pain, that we could escape it. Avoid it. See the storm, but be unaffected by it. Anyone else? But that is not reality, is it? Reality is, we all face painful experiences. We all deal with anguish. We all experience heartache. We all suffer. We live in a fallen world, full of broken people.  BUT, that does not mean we are not sheltered! We may not be able to escape the storm, but we can find refuge through it! I am so encouraged by scripture and I believe this one is inspiring for anyone who’s felt like they needed sheltered; “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5 NIV (emphasis mine) . IN the day of trouble! Don’t miss this! We were never promised a life without suffering here on earth. That is what heaven is. (Revelation 21:4)* But, we are not without shelter! We don’t have to stand out in the open during a torrential downpour and allow it to soak us! We can run for cover, knowing that God is waiting there, ready to provide us a sanctuary and strengthen us through our storms. We haven’t escaped the storm, it may still be raging, but, we are sheltered through it!

Even Still

So, if we all suffer, what’s the difference if I have God in my life or not? For me, the answer can be summed up in one word; hope. I need hope. You need hope. Hope in something, someone, greater than the troubles of this world. Hope that all our suffering is not in vain. Hope for finding shelter. Without hope, it can feel like we’re just wandering around this big ole planet aimlessly. Unsheltered. But here’s the thing about shelter— we have to seek it. Shelter does not seek us. Yes, God pursues us (Luke 15:3-6)*, but he desires us to come to him in our times of troubles to allow him to shelter us. He does not force himself upon us. And there, as we find refuge in the shadow of God’s wings (Psalm 36:7)*, and when we allow God to shelter us through the storms and trials of this life, it may be there that we find a moment to treasure.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV (Jesus speaking)

 Scripture Reference and Bonus Scripture to encourage you

 *“and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be death; there will no longer be sorrow and anguish, or crying, or pain; for the former order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4 AMP

*“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” Psalm 36:7 NIV

*“Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.” Luke 15:3-6 NIV

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written, ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39 NIV.

”The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9 NIV

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 NIV

If you have been inspired by my blog, I would love to hear from you in the comments! And please, share with a friend who may benefit from a word of encouragement!

Fifty-two Weeks Ago

Last April, we were all adjusting to quarantine and wondering what the future held for us and our loved ones, neighbors and communities. My husband had ordered my birthday gift online and we went to “curbside pick-up” since the stores were not allowing people inside. We drove down empty streets that only a few weeks ago teemed with activity. Even the nearby college campus (that we pass frequently) typically bustling with students, was now a ghost town. It was all very surreal. The usually packed mall was empty. Super weird. It felt like we were living in an apocalyptic movie! I know you all have your stories that ring very similar to mine. We, along with the rest of the world, waited with bated breath for the next bad report, the other shoe to drop, the closure of another state. It seemed the world had come to a standstill. But as we all know, whether in quarantine or not, life marches on.

On The Personal Side

My youngest daughter graduated high school by walking across the stage, picking up her diploma and proceeding off. No traditional pomp and circumstance with her graduating class. No large crowd in attendance to cheer them on. My son graduated from AIT (Advanced Individual Training, Army) in May and married in October. My oldest daughter announced we were going to be grandparents. My second eldest daughter and her hubby began to try and figure out what life as missionaries during quarantine would look like. And, my husband and I celebrated our thirtieth anniversary in July! Now, on the surface, these life events, as you read them, seem normal, some even exciting, but what you don’t see are the challenges within each event. The painful awareness that my youngest daughter would never get that moment back—her senior year had been ripped from her. The willy-nilly of the unknown wondering if my son would be able to graduate and come home because Base was under quarantine. Not to mention the stress they faced planning a wedding during that time. The rush to get my oldest daughter up to Canada to her husband (he’s a Canadian and his Visitors Visa had expired the previous November) before the borders closed in March. Watching my second eldest daughter and her husband float along in-limbo, being unable to give them any guidance other than to just wait. Our anniversary was a beautiful day planned by our kids, with just us and it was wonderful, but I had always dreamed of having a big vow-renewal ceremony for the big number thirty. Blessings within trials. Trial within blessings.

What A Year

These and other challenges and adversities, along with all the worries and the pressing issues, moved me to seek comfort and hope on a whole new level. I was compelled to seek God in a way that one does in desperation—whole-heartedly and fervently for strength, solace, and assurance. Each time, God met me there for he is faithful. I was consistently reassured by his Word. Scripture like this one was a balm to my soul; “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3 NIV (Emphasis mine) This is a beautiful reminder that no matter what we face here, God is with us! What a consolation! Can you relate to feeling shaken, as one most likely would feel if the earth were giving way and the waters roaring with mountains quaking? But thankfully God is still God and he is not shaken! He alone is our refuge. He alone is our strength. He alone can help us find moments to treasure in the midst of our most trying times and our most challenging years. Allow God to reveal himself to you, where you are, in the midst of your mess and know he is with you for he is faithful! Clinging to Jesus’ promise here; “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”” Matthew 28:20b NIV

Wisdom nugget from me; “Through the pandemic, one thing has become ever so clear, even more-so than it ever was before and that is this; Life is precious. We are not promised tomorrow so make the most out of each moment and treasure them in your heart! Seek the blessings in the trials!”

More Scripture to Encourage You

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (Jesus speaking) John 16:33 NIV

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. Lamentations 3:19-24 MSG

And please, if you find yourself feeling hopeless, depressed, anxious or having thoughts of suicide, please reach out to seek help! Your life is precious!

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ 1-800-273-8255

Do you remember when you were a kid and another kid maybe said something that hurt your feelings or teased you? I remember demanding them to, “Take that back!” As if they could. And whether forced into an apology by a parent or another adult, or genuinely given, the damage was done. Painful words resonate in our memories and they cannot be taken back. No matter how much we want them to be. 

Why Would You Say That? 

When I was in elementary school, there was a boy a couple of years older than me who just loved to pick on me. I have no idea why I was his target, I have theories now that I’m older but when I was in fourth grade, I had no clue what I’d done to this sixth grade boy to deserve his wrath. I remember thinking, “I don’t even know your name and you don’t even know me!” The mean things he said to me, I wanted him to take that back! I encountered the same thing in high school, (as so many do), with a group of girls who again, didn’t even know me or I them! Once more leaving me to wonder what I’d done to deserve their cruel words and threats of violence. I had been taught to ignore the behavior back in elementary school. Ignore them and they will stop. They didn’t. Afraid to tell because it would only increase the risk of further bullying and violence. 

One of my daughters then became the victim of bullying in middle school. Painful words spoken that could never be taken back. Her father and I fought with the school board to no avail. They failed us and our daughter even with a ZERO Tolerance act in place. Still today, the effects of those words spoken to her linger. Have you ever encountered this? I’d venture to say at some point in your life, whether a classmate, a co-worker/boss, a parent, a teacher or spouse or from social media, you’ve experienced someone’s cruel words spoken into you that cut you so deep that you wished they could take them back. 

Let Our Words

Why do we as humans find it easier to tear another person down rather than lift them up? What is it that we’re afraid of? That encouraging another will somehow minimize us but tearing them down builds us up? I don’t think there could be anything further from the truth! Personally, when I have taken the time and made the effort to encourage another, or offer kind words or even just a friendly hello, I actually feel better! I can encourage my own spirit by valuing another. Whereas I have found that when I’ve spoken an unkind word, whether “deserved” or not, no matter my “reason”,  I feel like a wretch for potentially hurting another!  Maybe you know what I’m talking about? That’s why I love this passage of scripture found in Ephesians; “And never let ugly or hateful words come from your mouth, but instead let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others; do this by speaking words of grace to help them.” Ephesians 4:29 (TPT) Even if you’re unsure of what you believe about God or the Bible, please allow me to encourage you to recognize the wisdom in these words. How much better it is to give a beautiful gift of a kind word than speak ugly words that can destroy? What would you prefer to hear? Wouldn’t those within your sphere benefit from a beautiful, kind word spoken to them same as you would?

So, what to do? 

How does offering encouragement to another help us when harsh words have been spoken to us and we want to demand, “Take that back!”? First, I have learned that I need to forgive those who have said cruel, hurtful things to me. My forgiving them doesn’t make what they did okay—it wasn’t— but it releases me from the pain inflicted. Second, I have to be intentional about speaking kind, life-giving words to others. When I can bring a smile, or a bit of encouragement to another, it’s like denying the enemy the ground he thought he’d gained. It’s almost impossible to offer a friendly word when we are filled with bitterness, or anger ourselves. As we read further in this chapter of Ephesians, it tells us; “Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (TPT) Why? So we may speak life to others and not end up saying something we wish we could take back! Because once a word is spoken, we cannot take that back!

The Ripple Effect

We can’t demand someone to take back hateful words, because they cannot be taken back, but we can work on forgiving them. We can begin with love because love covers a multitude of sins (1Peter 4:8). We have the power to shift the tide when we allow compassion and love to move us rather than our pain. The more we encourage others, maybe they will feel so lifted up, they will then in turn offer encouragement to someone who needs it and so on and so on. The ripple effect. And in the process, you will gladden your own spirit! We never know how our words may impact another, so let’s strive to speak life—even to ourselves — it has the power to overcome the darkness! Your kindness may be the only kindness someone experiences that day providing them a moment to treasure.  So, who do you know that could use a word of encouragement today?

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT)

Bullying is a serious problem and should not be ignored. If you are experiencing bullying, there are numerous resources! Here are just a few:

For teens: https://www.stompoutbullying.org/get-help; https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/bullying

For adults: https://www.healthline.com/health/workplace-bullying

1-800-273-TALK (8255) https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/get-help-now

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, don’t wait! Please seek help immediately! Your life is so very precious! Call 1-800-273-8255https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

The Gray Zone 

Here’s where it gets tricky. In this gray zone, if I won’t help myself, it infers that I don’t want the help. But is this always true? In the Gospel of John, we read about a man who was an invalid for thirty-eight years. He was hanging out in a well-known location where a whole lot of other sick people hung out, at the Pool of Bethesda just waiting for their opportunity to be the first one in the pool so they could receive healing after the water’s stirred miraculously— which only happened once a year (John 5:1-5). Jesus comes by and asks the invalid, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6b NIV) I always thought this was an interesting question because, well, the man was lying beside a healing pool for thirty-eight years…the answer should be obvious, but Jesus asked anyway. (By the way, everything Jesus did and said was always purposeful and intentional, he’s not just making conversation here). Let’s read on. “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” (John 5:7 NIV) He doesn’t really answer Jesus’ question here, does he? He provides an excuse. It seems like he wanted to help himself to some degree because he says, “While I try to get in…” but he began the excuse with, “I have no one to help…”  One would think that at some point in thirty-eight years he could have made it into that pool. Had he stopped trying to help himself?

It Seems A Ridiculous Question 

“Do you want to get well?” It causes me to think about people enslaved to addiction as my mother was to drugs and alcohol, eventually losing her life to it. Does anyone want to live a life controlled by an addiction? Does anyone want to live a life trapped in an abusive, toxic relationship? Does anyone want to live a life ruled by fear, anxiety, or depression? Don’t they want to get well? Then, they should help themselves, right? I mean, if they won’t, then how can we help them? After all, you can’t help those who won’t help themselves. Right? Or I wonder if the saying should be more like, “You can’t help those who won’t acknowledge they need help.” The invalid in our story acknowledged he needed the help, “I have no one to help me…”  but I wonder if after thirty-eight years, he wouldn’t help himself anymore. Someone always made it into the pool before him, so why keep trying? But does it mean he couldn’t be helped?

We Gotta Try 

Jesus responds to the invalid, but he doesn’t say, “Well, pal, sorry about your luck. If you won’t help you, I won’t help you.” No. Here’s what happened after the man evades Jesus’ question with an excuse, “Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” (John 5:8 NIV) Jesus helped but not as the man likely expected, as Jesus did not put him in the pool. I am challenged by this. Who have I walked by (figuratively) that needed help, wanted help but seemed like they didn’t because this narrative plays in my mind; “Well, you can’t help those who won’t help themselves.”? Who have you passed by? Is there someone that you might ask, “Do you want to get well and how can I help?” Through this past year, people more than ever need a loving, compassionate arm reached out to them. Don’t let fear of someone rejecting your help, or the potential absence of a miraculous recovery stop you. While the invalid did get up and walk away after Jesus told him to, those we reach out to may take a while longer in recovery. With the understanding that we are not Jesus and cannot miraculously “fix” anyone or solve their problems, nor should we even attempt that but rather we are to be the extension of love and compassion, to be there for another in their time of need regardless of their answer. Even if you’re not sure how to help, there’s always an opportunity to sow a bit of encouragement into someone’s life whether they acknowledge they need help or not. Let me add this; Love has got to be your motive. If love is not the motive, the “help” you’re offering, most likely won’t help. Driven by compassion and mercy, we are more likely to actually reach those we long to aid. 

Sometimes It’s True 

There are those who may never acknowledge they need help. They may be trapped in situations they see no way out of, so they quit trying, given up on hope. They may realize they need help but refuse your offer. Or you’ve tried to help, they seemed like they were doing better then they slide back into the pit. So, what do you do then? There is no clear-cut answer to that. As I said before, each person and your relationship with them, as well as the circumstance is unique and cannot be covered with a one-size-fits-all blanketed answer. What I do know is that every life is valuable, every day is precious, every moment is one worth treasuring. We are all in need of help in some way so our first step is to acknowledge that and let’s change the mantra of a mindset that we can’t help others who won’t help themselves. At the very least we could ask, “Do you want to get well?” and be a loving support. Easy? No. But then anything in life that is worthwhile, isn’t easy. So let me encourage you today to reach out to someone or maybe you are the one who needs to acknowledge you need help. Either way, don’t waste another moment as each one is to be treasured!    

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM, SUICIDE OR IS IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION, PLEASE SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY FROM PROFESSIONALS WHO ARE THERE TO HELP! DON’T WAIT! CALL TODAY!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

Domestic Violence Support 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) https://www.thehotline.org/

SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357) https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

What has ever been the greatest demonstration of love shown to you by another? Maybe a grand, out-of-this-world marriage proposal. Maybe even something as dramatic as saving your life by donating an organ or blood you needed. Maybe something as simple as a bouquet of flowers from a steadfast friend to cheer you up while you sit in depression. For me, personally, one of the greatest demonstrations of love shown to me in my life has been the way my husband of almost thirty-one years has simply remained constant and dependable by my side through all of life’s ups and downs. So, now, what’s the greatest demonstration of love you have displayed? Was it received or did you experience the pain of rejection?

Now, imagine with me for a moment, a love so great for you that the ultimate sacrifice was made—another’s life. Can you conceive it? If someone died for you as proof of how loved you are, would you accept it or decline it? What would cause you to reject it?  Feelings of unworthiness? The need to be self-reliant? Switching gears here now, go with me even further if you dare. Now you are the one who made that sacrifice for another and they have rejected your gift of love. How do you feel? Heartbroken? Devastated? Mystified? You wanted them to be loved and they declined the invitation. Do you wonder if maybe God experiences those same emotions when we deny the sacrificial love that he demonstrated to us?

^“Now, would anyone dare to die for the sake of a wicked person? We can all understand if someone was willing to die for a truly noble person. But Christ proved God’s passionate love for us by dying in our place while we were still lost and ungodly!” Romans 5:6-8 (TPT) Hard to believe? I know. Why would God do this? Surely there has to be a way to earn this love. But what if I told you that you can’t earn it! In a society where we all have to work so hard to earn everything, including love, it can be challenging to believe this. But this love is a gift. One that God wants desperately for you to receive!

Maybe feelings of shame or just plain ole’ lack of knowing this truth keep you from being loved by the One who gave all. I would encourage you today, that whatever is keeping you from receiving that love, to reject that and not the love! The same way you want the love you offer another to be accepted, God wants you to receive his love. We are so loved, that the thought of being separated from us for eternity compelled God to make that ultimate sacrifice—what Jesus did, he did for love—for you to be loved.  “This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.” 1John 4:10 (MSG)

So what is keeping you from receiving that gift of unconditional love today? Allow me to encourage you to truly search your heart for that answer. Breathe, pray, seek and take a moment to just be loved by the One who loves you more than you may ever even comprehend. What is there to lose?