Dealing with Depression Part One

All roads lead somewhere—right? With the exception of those marked with a ‘dead-end’ sign. Even a wrong turn, takes us somewhere—maybe not where we want to go, but it leads somewhere! But have you ever felt like you were going down a road that led to nowhere? Not literally but figuratively of course. Emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually? I know I have. We visit the nearby mountains frequently and walk the trails there and there are easy ones and difficult ones, some that are short and some that are long, but no matter how challenging or far the hike, they do come to an end point or circle back to the beginning eventually. But, unlike those trails, there is a path I can walk down at times that feels never-ending and it leads to nowhere. Many people walk down this same trail as me, yet we walk it alone and in utter silence. It’s a gloomy road with many twists and turns. Mine is lined with tall, dead trees on both sides and is shrouded in darkness. Pitch black darkness. I’m sure you can visualize yours well too. 

the dark road

What, you may ask, road am I on? Not one I choose. Not one I like. It’s not a wrong turn— as a matter of fact, I have little to no say in when I veer off the main route and onto this treacherous pathway. This road has a name—Depression. GASP! Yes, I am writing about depression! Not because I want to—truthfully I don’t. I’d much rather pretend I didn’t deal with this common mental health issue, but I do. I am writing this for those who suffer in silence to let you know that you don’t walk down the road that leads to nowhere alone, nor do you have to. It may feel like you do—I know—but you don’t. DISCLAIMER: I’m no expert in the field but I’m just someone who wants to help lift the stigma off those of us who deal with depression. And according to World Health Organization, more than 300 million of us are affected worldwide. Before I go any further—if you are reading this and you are dealing with severe depression and are having thoughts of suicide, please seek help immediately! There is help out there and you don’t have to face this alone. (Please call 1-800-273-TALK for help or 911 or click here for more info.)

am i lost?

Depression comes in many different shapes and sizes and each person has their unique symptoms and circumstances but none are to be taken lightly. You may experience anxiety as well. It may have been brought on by circumstances in your life, a trauma or change you were unprepared to deal with. The loss of purpose and /or hope. Maybe it is seasonal. At times, the road I walk down can suddenly open up to beautiful sunshine and blooming flowers and I have energy again and feel ready to tackle whatever comes my way. I strive to stay on this road. I fight to prevent myself from being steered back onto the dark path. When I end up lost on a path not of my choosing I find myself asking, “How did I get here?” Anyone else out there relate?

When I am blindsided by and find myself tripping down the road that leads to nowhere, one thing that helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other is my hope. For I have this hope that is the anchor to my soul (Hebrews 6:19). And when I walk down that dark road, it helps me tremendously to know that I truly am not alone for the One I have my hope in walks it with me. He never leaves me nor forsakes me (Matthew 28:20). Oh, there are times it feels like it, but feelings can lie and mislead—God however, does not. If you are journeying down this gloomy path, look up, for God loves you and will walk this path with you if you invite him to.

can we encourage ourselves?

King David, a well-known man in the Bible, he was a mighty warrior who’d seen numerous victories in battle, a shepherd, a harpist, God called him “a man after God’s own heart”(1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22) —someone we’d look at and think he had it all together—but, he dealt with depression. King David writes, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5. Here we find David encouraging himself, reminding himself that even when he is downcast to put his hope in God and praise him! I’m not suggesting that breaking out of depression is that simple, but it’s a good place to start and you never know how it may help. Boost yourself up with positive words and get with someone who will listen and help encourage you through this difficult time.

And maybe, just maybe when we take our experience and help someone else who may be on that same path we are or have been on, we may realize that we’re not alone on that road that feels like it leads nowhere. It may just be then and there that we find a moment to treasure.

More encouraging scripture:

I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1:5b)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9)

“But now, Lord, What do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)

*There a many types of depression but none are to be taken lightly. Each person experiences depression differently, this is just my experience. Thanks for letting me share it with you!

Dealing With Depression Part Two

Ever get scared in the night? In the dark, our imaginations can run wild and things can seem scarier than they actually are. Every little thing becomes a monster. Typical minor problems feel overwhelmingly impossible to deal with in the dead of the night then they can in the light of day. And in those foreboding moments, have you ever had anyone tell you that things will look better in the morning? Why is that? The darkness shrouds reality and twists it into something hideous. Unrecognizable. Unmanageable. When in truth —in the light—it’s not that terrifying, not so unmanageable.

beautiful light

This is the face of depression in my life as I wrote in my previous post called, “On The Road That Leads To Nowhere“. But unlike a typical twenty-four hour period where we can expect the sun to rise in the morning and cast its beautiful rays upon the earth, the darkness remains. Until one day, I will catch a glimpse of a shimmering glow. I strain towards it, wanting more of it until I am basking in the warmth of wonderful and radiant light. Finally, I’ve come out of the darkness.

There are many types of depression and it can look different for each person who suffers with it. So most likely what you experience is very different than what I do. But maybe you can relate a little to that depiction.

try and understand

There is such a stigma surrounding depression, like we’re all just supposed to be okay. In my experience, I’ve found that people generally don’t know how to cope with people who deal with depression. “Just get over it”, “Try exercising or Vitamins” (and part of this can be true! Vitamin deficiency and lack of exercise can be contributors to depression…ask your doctor for blood work to see!), “It’s all in your head”, are just a few things that, if you’ve dealt with depression, I’m sure you’ve heard from other, well-meaning people that just do not get it. No offense to them, but they truly don’t understand because they have not lived in the darkness of depression. But for those of us who have, it can be challenging to not be understood by our loved ones. So, I have learned to allow for grace because there are a lot of things that people go through that I may not understand either. Everyone is dealing with something. Everyone.

there is hope

Depression is not a choice. I mean seriously… do people think we want to feel sad? Or that we like to isolate ourselves? No! I want to enjoy each day that God gives me and always count each moment as a blessing. I want to be with friends and laugh. I want to have treasured moments with my family. And I still can even in the midst of darkness. The thing about depression is not that I can’t do these things, it’s just becomes more of a challenge, taking way more energy than it does when the warmth of the light is revitalizing me. My family are the rays of sunshine that pulls me ever onward toward it, wanting to cherish each moment before it’s gone, giving me the desire and strength to move toward wellness. I fight for them and I cling to the light just as I cling to my hope. I’d hate to think about where my mind may wander without hope. It is this hope that helps me put one foot in front of the other when I just want to crawl back in bed. With hope, the darkness doesn’t seem as dreadful and the light seems a little more tangible. Hope sees the sun peeking up over the horizon, breaking through the darkness. The light chases away the darkness. Hope is necessary for recovery. Dare I say, hope is vital.

hope as An Anchor

When I feel like everything is unsettled in my mind and I’m in the darkness, I dwell on this: “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” (Hebrews 6:19-20) It is in Jesus I have my hope. It helps me to know that Jesus is unmovable. He is solid and unshakeable, firm and secure. So when the waves crash over me, when the darkness looms, Jesus is right there to cling to and he will not let me go. He will hold you too if you allow him to. Will everything suddenly be better? Will all your troubles go away? Maybe, maybe not. BUT, you will have the assurance of hope and we all need hope.

come out of the darkness

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am no expert in the field, just someone who hopes to encourage others with my story, to offer reassurance that you are not alone. To offer you hope, to tell you that the light beckons you to it, encouraging you to come out of the darkness where you can find moments to treasure. 

I will leave you with these lyrics from a song called “Even If” by MercyME… I hope they inspire you. 

It’s easy to sing/ When there’s nothing to bring me down/ But what will I say/ When I’m held to the flame/ Like I am right now?/ I know You’re able and I know You can/ Save through the fire with Your mighty hand /But even if You don’t/ My hope is You alone/ I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt/ Would all go away if You’d just say the word/ But even if You don’t/ My hope is You alone.

Click here to listen to the song… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y

If you are reading this and you are dealing with severe depression and are having thoughts of suicide, please seek help immediately! There is help out there and you don’t have to face this alone. (Please call 1-800-273-TALK for help or 911)

Dealing with Depression Part One

All roads lead somewhere—right? With the exception of those marked with a ‘dead-end’ sign. Even a wrong turn, takes us somewhere—maybe not where we want to go, but it leads somewhere! But have you ever felt like you were going down a road that led to nowhere? Not literally but figuratively of course. Emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually? I know I have. We visit the nearby mountains frequently and walk the trails there and there are easy ones and difficult ones, some that are short and some that are long, but no matter how challenging or far the hike, they do come to an end point or circle back to the beginning eventually. But, unlike those trails, there is a path I can walk down at times that feels never-ending and it leads to nowhere. Many people walk down this same trail as me, yet we walk it alone and in utter silence. It’s a gloomy road with many twists and turns. Mine is lined with tall, dead trees on both sides and is shrouded in darkness. Pitch black darkness. I’m sure you can visualize yours well too. 

the dark road

What, you may ask, road am I on? Not one I choose. Not one I like. It’s not a wrong turn— as a matter of fact, I have little to no say in when I veer off the main route and onto this treacherous pathway. This road has a name—Depression. GASP! Yes, I am writing about depression! Not because I want to—truthfully I don’t. I’d much rather pretend I didn’t deal with this common mental health issue, but I do. I am writing this for those who suffer in silence to let you know that you don’t walk down the road that leads to nowhere alone, nor do you have to. It may feel like you do—I know—but you don’t. DISCLAIMER: I’m no expert in the field but I’m just someone who wants to help lift the stigma off those of us who deal with depression. And according to World Health Organization, more than 300 million of us are affected worldwide. Before I go any further—if you are reading this and you are dealing with severe depression and are having thoughts of suicide, please seek help immediately! There is help out there and you don’t have to face this alone. (Please call 1-800-273-TALK for help or 911 or click here for more info.)

am i lost?

Depression comes in many different shapes and sizes and each person has their unique symptoms and circumstances but none are to be taken lightly. You may experience anxiety as well. It may have been brought on by circumstances in your life, a trauma or change you were unprepared to deal with. The loss of purpose and /or hope. Maybe it is seasonal. At times, the road I walk down can suddenly open up to beautiful sunshine and blooming flowers and I have energy again and feel ready to tackle whatever comes my way. I strive to stay on this road. I fight to prevent myself from being steered back onto the dark path. When I end up lost on a path not of my choosing I find myself asking, “How did I get here?” Anyone else out there relate?

When I am blindsided by and find myself tripping down the road that leads to nowhere, one thing that helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other is my hope. For I have this hope that is the anchor to my soul (Hebrews 6:19). And when I walk down that dark road, it helps me tremendously to know that I truly am not alone for the One I have my hope in walks it with me. He never leaves me nor forsakes me (Matthew 28:20). Oh, there are times it feels like it, but feelings can lie and mislead—God however, does not. If you are journeying down this gloomy path, look up, for God loves you and will walk this path with you if you invite him to.

can we encourage ourselves?

King David, a well-known man in the Bible, he was a mighty warrior who’d seen numerous victories in battle, a shepherd, a harpist, God called him “a man after God’s own heart”(1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22) —someone we’d look at and think he had it all together—but, he dealt with depression. King David writes, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5. Here we find David encouraging himself, reminding himself that even when he is downcast to put his hope in God and praise him! I’m not suggesting that breaking out of depression is that simple, but it’s a good place to start and you never know how it may help. Boost yourself up with positive words and get with someone who will listen and help encourage you through this difficult time.

And maybe, just maybe when we take our experience and help someone else who may be on that same path we are or have been on, we may realize that we’re not alone on that road that feels like it leads nowhere. It may just be then and there that we find a moment to treasure.

More encouraging scripture:

I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Joshua 1:5b)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9)

“But now, Lord, What do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)

*There a many types of depression but none are to be taken lightly. Each person experiences depression differently, this is just my experience. Thanks for letting me share it with you!

I’m not suggesting that everything that everybody does to us we take personally. We’d be a wreck if we did. The driver that cut you off, not personal. Your defiant teen, not personal (even though it feels like it). The rude clerk or patron, not personal. Remember that everyone has bad days, things that they’re dealing with and that’s when we need a huge dose of patience and grace to not react like it is personal.

I love what the character Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail says to Joe Fox who just put her out of business in response to his rationalization, “It’s wasn’t personal.” After asking what it means she answers her own question, “All that means is it wasn’t personal to you but it was personal to me. It’s personal to a lot of people. Whatever is wrong with being personal anyway because whatever anything else is it ought to begin by being personal?”

I just love that. Whatever anything else is it ought to begin by being personal. How do we build trusting relationships without getting personal? Every one of us has something to offer but how do we contribute without getting personal? Social media fools us into believing we are being personal but are we? Isn’t what we post just pretension? We show people what we want them to see and they in turn show us what they want us to see. In a world filled with hurting and desperate people we need to get personal. Jesus got personal. He walked the dusty streets with people so he could get personal. He ate meals with tax-collectors (a group of people despised by all), spoke with women of ill-repute and physically touched the diseased. Pretty personal.

Whether you’re a follower of Jesus or not there is still something of value here to discover. The only way to heal the brokenhearted is to get personal. Take a risk and get involved on a deeper level with the ones God brought into your life. You have so much treasure to share with them and they with you. When we hold ourselves back, avoid the personal, we rob ourselves of so many special moments that we could share with others. So let’s get personal!

We traveled a lot when I was a kid to visit grandparents who always lived a good distance from us and I used to wonder about the places we traveled through. I wanted to stop, check out the sights and sounds other than at the rest stops along the highway. I wanted to enjoy the journey, but we had to reach our destination and we had to reach it quickly. It was always a race against time! How fast could we get there? Understandably so because time with my grandparents was limited, (we had to return home eventually) but there was so much I was missing out on along the way! All the “attraction” signs just begged me to stop and visit and boy did I want to! However, all we ever saw of any of the attractions were said signs as we cruised on by them at sixty-five miles per hour.

Life ever feel like that? Like you are just blowing by all the attractions along your journey at a dizzying speed only ever stopping at the rest areas for a quick break and a stretch? I certainly have. I mean who has time to stop and sight see? We have a destination to reach! But what happens when you get there? Hang out and visit for a while only to jump back on the highway of life and race to the next destination bypassing all the cool attractions along the way because they may cost you your time and maybe even a little money.

What precious moments are you being robbed of as you zip along that can never be recaptured? We have to be willing to stop along the way, take the scenic route because life flies by us at an alarming rate. If we don’t take time to exit at the “attractions” and do some sight-seeing along the way, before we know it, the journey is over. We will reach our destination only to look back and wonder, where are the moments to treasure?

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” John 10:10 (AMP)

*Featured Photo: Photo Credit- Steven Stiegel